I recently had an interesting conversation with a person working for the Baltimore city parking & fines collection agency. A little background first: I apparently ran a red light ticket back in October and for some reason, I never got any letter with the picture and all. I found out that the date this violation took place was the same day I was in an unfamiliar area trying to find an address. What really sucks is that because I had no clue that I owed money, the DMV sends me a letter stating that they have flagged my registration, which expired in January 2009. Turns out, I've got to pay 'flag' fees to the DMV and Baltimore city for this one red light ticket before I can renew my tags.
Anyway, here I am on the phone after some running around and after hours of being placed on hold (2 hours!), I talk to a woman to give her all of my confirmation numbers for my payments, and other paperwork information...So now, this is what happens next:
Woman: "Can you verify your name for me?"
Asim: "Yes, the last name is spelled S-O-O-F-I...Soofi. First name is Asim...A-S-I-M."
Woman: "Oh, okay I wasn't sure if this was really your account I was looking at. I didn't hear an accent."
Asim: (moment of silence) I'm sorry...what?
Woman: "You know, you don't speak with an accent, so I didn't think this was your name."
Asim: (Awkward silence continues)
Woman: "...it's a foreign name, you know..."
Asim: (pause, thinking) "Interesting. You do know a foreign name doesn't mean you speak with an accent?"
Woman: (Realizes my tone has changed a bit) "I'm just sayin'...I'm just being honest."
Asim: (I'm a bit perturbed and just want to get off the phone) "Is there anything else you need?"
Woman: "No that's it."
Asim: "Okay, by the way, what is your name?"
Woman: (Gives last name)
Asim: "Okay, thank you. Bye."
It was an interesting experience and I'll be honest, it did put me off a bit. I'm extremely patient and understanding with people, but it's just a little sad to hear this kind of stuff. Some people just don't realize what they are saying and you just have to try even harder to be even more patient.
Here's the funny part, I got a little more later on. I was working late last night, and hadn't eaten dinner. I was in the mood for some hot wings, so I decided to head over to my local Applebee's. I walk in, and I am met by the hostess. Just as I'm about to say that I'm heading over to the bar to sit...hostess gets in the first line.
Hostess: "Hi. Are you going to sit over there with those guys?"
She points towards a booth in a corner. I turn my head and see several guys sitting there. To my surprise (yeah right) all of them happen to be of southeast asian descent (middle eastern/pakistani/indian). I turn back to her and just told her, "No, I'm going to sit at the bar."
Just made me go 'hmmm.'
Unfortunetly, not the first time my outside appearance, my ethnicity, or my name got me into these types of situations. In fact, here's a plain old straight to the face statement made by a wedding planner just a short while back, "Asim, I'll be honest with you...The only reason they don't want to hire you is because you're not Jewish."
In this world we live in, there are many degrees of prejudices and I've learned to adapt to them. You just have to try harder to excerise your cool and think with a clear head. People come from many backgrounds and values. Sometimes, it's not their fault if their thinking is different. It's just that they haven't been taught what a diverse world we live in and how not to judge people by their appearance, background, or even their name.
I have always believed that no matter who you are or where you come from, just live by setting a good example as a human being. People will always have good and bad prejudices and that won't ever change unfortunetly. Some is just innocent ignorance and some can be intentionally cruel (yes, have stories of those too).
We can't change the world with the snap of a finger, but a good place to start is with yourself.
Of course, some could really use a little diversity training...
